Tis' The Season

It was Saturday night; my husband and I had a nice dinner out, and the kids were gone for the night.  As I was lying on the couch in a sushi coma trying not to fall asleep, I realized how exhausted I already was.  No! There were still 34 days until Black Friday, or the official “kick off” to Retail’s holiday season, but for me and my family it had already been well underway.  

In the Retail world, the planning and beginning stages of the holidays start earlier and earlier each year. For more than 16 years we have been dealing with the trials of parenting, trips out of town and other challenges of the season. And each year I try to handle it better.  Each year that my own children grow older makes that task a little easier. Or so I think, because each year something happens and I snap.  It’s usually something stupid and small, but I punish the world by taking to my house for the rest of the holiday season only to emerge when the holidays have safely passed and inventory is underway.  

But I decided that this year was going to be different. I couldn’t take it anymore.  I couldn’t put my happiness into the hands of a big corporate retailer.  It wasn’t fair to me and it’s certainly not fair to my family. I knew I had to be responsible for my own happiness.  I determined that I must change within myself.   I had made the decision to become a happier person, but really, that’s pretty vague.  

I had no real plan, just an idea of who and how I wanted to be.  I was not the Susie Sunshine type, that would never be my personality. But a long time ago, before life got serious, life was fun.  But since we can’t just chuck our lives and responsibilities out the door I determined I had to let the sunshine in. Enter Blacktop.  I was very unsuspecting of anything, the first show I saw. I just remember giggling like a little girl.  Later I realized that the humor was so much to my taste that I found I wanted to take a class.  I didn’t even tell anyone, including my family, that I attended the Level 1: Intro to Improv.  I just snuck off, made my excuses and went.

Flash forward four months:  Since my involvement with Blacktop, improv, comedy and all the people and events that come with it, my path became clearer.  It was so simple. The key to happiness was laughter.   And laughter at Blacktop was easy.  Whether you are giving it, or receiving there is always something happening to make you smile.  Since I had already been working towards changing my overall attitude towards life and eliminating all the negative sources, I figured I might be in the right place.  

I took paper to pen as all great plans must be written down. Well, if I don’t write it down, chances are I won’t remember.  My plan entailed that from now on, I would only surround myself with positive people, engage in positive activities and remove  myself from negative people and activities.  This going to be step one.  Am I perfect? No, of course not. Just the other day, someone asked me how I was. When I listened to the playback reel in my head, I realized that I sounded terrible.  I was feeling very negative, adjusting to the rigors of “season”.  It was leaking out in in my conversation. Blech!  Who would want to hang around that?  But, I did some volunteer work, watched a great Blacktop show and got a good dose of comedy and laughter.  Exploding Zombie Turtles!  Awesome!!  I was nearly on the floor in hysterics each time one of those little buggers blew. Before I knew it, I was back with my old pact of being happy and hanging with positive people.  

So I’m warning you holidays, beware! You will not rain on my parade this year!  And while I seek out the positive, while eliminating the negative (step one!), I can’t wait for the journeys ahead.  Yes, I understand, step one will probably never be over as life is a constantly changing force, but’s that’s okay, as it is the journey and not the destination that matters.

The Memory Off It All

I remember loving art all my life. To this day I still have stacks of drawings I did as a child. When I found performance art I realized I was really in love. My confirmation was my childhood rendition of Golde, in Fiddler on the Roof with my Teen Group at age 15; We went all out.

Then the biggest gig I ever had was being mommy. Not only does that one still happen each and every day, I hear it never actually quite goes away. A never-ending role.  I love it. Continuing through my mommy-hood role, maybe underlying, but always there remained the desire to perform.  I suppose I shoved it under the rug with the dog hair, crumbs and long forgotten Legos, while my children were so busy growing. I knew my time would come. I would return to a stage.

As my family grew, it became time to choose organized sports. That is the natural progression after all. We did eight years of soccer, two years of footsol, four years of softball, and five years and counting of dance. And those were just the ones that stuck.  Lasting the longest and by far my personal favorite, was nine years of taekwondo. This was me and my older daughter. Competition I found was a way to return to a stage: I found love! Well actually I found a love-hate stage relationship. “Being on stage” was actually a euphemism for “competing in a ring”.  Don’t get me wrong, I strongly understand the value and necessity of competition, but humph! Where was my safe place? Where were my warm, loving compliments? Oh no. You either won the medal or you were the first loser.  Sometimes I had wished I was a kid under 10 so I could at least get a participation medal. I can’t tell you how many tears I had shed. But I was getting closer.

I knew there was something out there, but it wasn’t until I had participated a few times that I realized how special and specialized Blacktop’s stage was. Apparently, I only needed the physical act of “jumping up” on the stage. I definitely felt like I was closer. With my children still growing, this is such a perfect step. The workshops allow me to be on a stage and the rest of the students make up one fine audience. We can do some really outrageous, fun stuff and I’ve found my safe place! After all, a room full of people who show up for a variation of the same reasons as me?  Matches made in heaven.

More importantly, is that while we are all having fun, we are all exercising our brains. One of the things they say about being a mother is that you give your children your brain cells in the womb. Ugh, true. Never mind that college education, sometimes my brain seems to have taken a trip to Candy Land and forgotten the way home. That is why I love the simplicity of some of the games we play. Learn in a minute, life time to master. That is if there truly is mastery. One fun such game is the Alphabet Game; two people converse, each next statement starts with the next letter of the alphabet, back and forth. Sound easy? Try it. Which letter did you drop?

All of improvisation requires you to think and be on your feet. The brain, while not a muscle, still requires constant stimulation to stay active.  If we don’t use it, it will atrophy.  With so many people’s family history involving Alzheimer’s and dementia these days, keeping your mind active is more important than ever.  I exercise my brain daily. You should see the time I took up knitting; requires the left and right brain to work together! It cost me over $200 and three different sessions to make an evening handbag. Ouch. I still haven’t used the damn thing.  I like my new plan better. I like being on stage and I love improvisation: not only is my brain getting a work-out, no one has made me cry in the corner.